Merry Christmas, Asshole
by chenchenchenchenchen
Summary: Kai is in for one hell of a ride when Takao finds out that he has not gone Christmas shopping yet. TyKa Christmas Oneshot. Warnings: Cussing, fluff (sort of), and a boy dragging another boy along for Christmas shopping.


**Merry Christmas everyone! Also characters may be a little OOC. Plus I typed this on my phone in a rush. Ok, I don't have time to waste so here:**

* * *

"So..." Takao wrapped his arms around Kai, who was sitting on the sofa reading a book, "What gifts did you get the others?"

Kai looked at Takao, "First, stop hugging me, I am not your boyfriend; and second, what do you mean by...gifts...?"

"For Christmas!" Takao chirped, ignoring what Kai said first as he released him. "Surely, you got gifts for everyone...right?"

"Bah humbug. Christmas is a waste of time so why bother celebrating it? And why bother spending money for it?" Kai asked, continuing to read his book.

Takao swatted Kai in the arm, "Oh don't be such a Scrooge!"

"Are three ghosts going to visit me to give me a "lesson" now?" Kai said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Takao ignored him and answered his other question, "And people should bother celebrating it because either 1) You're a Christian, 2) You love the people around you, or 3) All of the above."

"How about...none of the above?" Kai asked, not taking his eyes of the book. "We never celebrated Christmas in the abbey or in my old house with my dad, so why start now?"

Takao grabbed the book and threw it across the room. Then, he grabbed Kai's hand and pulled him to his feet. "You, Kai Hiwatari, are going Christmas shopping with me and there is _nothing_ you can do about it!"

Kai groaned, _Kill me now... Well, at least I am spending more time with Takao._

"Grandpa! We need you to drop us of at the shopping plaza!" Takao called, then turned to Kai,"Oh, and Kai?"

"What?"

"Shotgun!"

"Fuck!"

* * *

Kai stared at the store in front of him: _Face in a Book_. He turned to Takao, "Why are we at a book store?"

"Don't you pay attention to your teammates at all? Rei is obsessed with books and his favorite author recently published a book. Rei seemed really upset about not being able to get a copy because of the cost." Takao said.

Kai arched an eyebrow, "How much does it cost?"

"$60." Takao said bluntly.

Kai's eyes popped out of his head, "No! I am not getting it!"

"Yes, you are!" Takao said, going behind Kai and pushing him through the entrance (bow chicka bow wow (#Redvsblue)) of the store.

The store was not crowded. There was only three people, not including the one employee at the cashier, Takao, and Kai.

"Hi!" Takao greeted the employee, whose name tag read Angelina (based on a real bitc-I mean person) She had long blonde hair that ended between her shoulders and waist and brown eyes. She looked like she wore 10 layers of foundation, 5 layers of lipstick, mascara, eyeliner, fake eyelashes, and any other cosmetic that I am not physically capable of naming.

Takao smiled at her, "Do you know where the Jay Asher books are located?"

Instead of answering, her eyes wondered down to Takao and Kai's hands, which Takao was still holding onto. Her eyes narrowed, "Are you gay?"

Kai clenched the fist that was not in Takao's hand and pulled away from Takao, his crimson eyes practically burning a hole in Angelina from the way he was glaring at her, "Why do you ask?"

Takao put his arm in front of Kai, "Ignore him. Anyways, I asked you a question, so are you going to give me an answer?"

"Ugh whatever..." She said in a snob-ish tone. She pointed to her left, "They are over there." She took out her phone and began to take a bunch of selfies.

"Ok...come on, Kai!" Takao took Kai's hand and took him to where she pointed.

"What a bitch," Kai growled.

"I know..." Takao said, "But do not get distracted. We need to find-oh there it is!" Takao grabbed a book of the shelf and smiled at Kai, "You are paying for it."

Kai grew a small anime vein, "Why the fuck am I paying for it?! You chose the fucking gift!"

"Because _you_ are the one giving the gift." Takao said and did his best puppy-eye expression, "Plus, I forgot my wallet..."

"Fuck it..." Kai muttered, "Fine, I will pay."

"Thanks, Kai!" Takao looked over at Angelina and saw she was staring at them. Takao lowered his voice down to a whisper, "Sk you want to give her a show?" (No, I am not writing a lemon! It's just some fluff.)

"No! I do not want to give her a show!" Kai said.

"Aw, you're no fun!" Takao whined and did his puppy eyes again.

 _Dammit!_ Kai thought and he bended down and kissed Takao on the cheek.

Takao slightly blushed, surprised Kai did it.

"Happy?!" Kai hissed, his own face burning.

Takao looked over his shoulder and saw Angelina looking like she wanted to throw up. Takao grinned, "Yup!"

* * *

Kai growled as Takao dragged him into a _Toys-R-Us,_ "Seriously? A toy store?"

"You need to get Max a present and what is a better place to buy Max a gift than a toy store!" Takao said with a smile.

"I can name several better places." Kai said, clearly annoyed. The last place anyone would expect to find Kai was at a toy store.

Takao took Kai's hand and dragged him around the store, trying to find the perfect gift for Max. At one point, Takao found the cutest dragon plushie. "Oh my gosh! It's so cute!"

The dragon looked like a giant, cute, red version of Dragoon. Takao sighed sadly when he looked at price tag. "$104...I bet you will not spend that much money for something that is not even a gift. Let's go find something for Max."

Kai's heart literally broke when he saw Takao's heartbroken expression on his face.

Kai stared at the plushie.

The plushie stared back.

Kai turned and followed Takao, who was already walking away.

* * *

"Great! Max will love the remote controlled turtles we got him!" Takao smiled at Kai as they left the store. "Now, lets go home and wrap the presents!"

"Ok," replied Kai, who was actually starting to enjoy this.

* * *

 **Christmas Day:**

"Kai, wake up!" Takao shook the sleeping Kai again and again until Kai groaned and opened his eyes.

"What?!" Kai snapped.

"It's Christmas! Wake up!" Takao yelled into Kai's ear and Kai just groaned as he stood up and went to get dressed.

"Merry Christmas, Kai!" Max and Rei said in unison as they gave Kai wrapped presents.

The Kinomiya dojo was filled with holiday decorations. Stockings, candycanes, etc. Kai was watching where his steps because he knew there was Mistletoe somewhere. Rei and Max had already found it and made out for a few seconds before finding Kai to give him their gifts.

"Thank you and marry Christmas to you two too." Kai said as he handed Rei and Max their gifts.

Max and Rei exchanged looks.

Rei arched an eyebrow, " _You_ are giving us gifts for _Christmas_?"

"What? Why wouldn't I?" Kai asked them.

"We thought that you thought Christmas was useless." Max said with a weirded-out expression on his face.

"Well... a certain asshole..." Kai gestured to Takao who was giving Grandpa his gift, "...dragged me to a bunch of stores to get you guys gift."

They exchanged looks again, then grinned.

"Sounds like you had fun," Rei said.

"Whatever." Kai turned and walked towards Takao.

"Hey Kai!" Takao said, "I got you a gift!" Takao hand him a warlord present. Takao looked at Kai, "Aren't you going to open it?"

"Um...ok." Kai unwrapped the gift and smiled. It was a picture frame with a picture of the Bladebreakers when they just got together. Takao was back-to-back with Max. Kenny looked flustered and hugged Dizzi to his chest. Rei just simply stood next to Max and smile. Kai was in the corner, looking at the camera but not smiling and his arms were crossed. It would not mean anything to anyone else; to Kai, it meant the world to him.

"T-Thank you, Takao," Kai said, wanting to hug Takao but he could not bring himself to do it.

"Your welcome! I could not figure out what to buy you, but then I remembered you were into sentimental stuff so I knew you would love this."

"Well, this is for you..." Kai handed Takao his gift and Takao unwrapped and gasped.

It was the plushie from Toys-R-Us that Takao wanted but could not get. Takao stared at it.

"I know that it won't match up to your gift but-"

"I love it!" Takao squealed and hugged Kai. Kai was first shocked but eventually, his arms wrapped around Takao's body. They hugged for a while until they released.

Out of instinct, Takao looked up and then he grinned, "Well, look what we have here."

Kai looked up and saw the Mistletoe above him. Kai smirked as he wrapped his arms around Takao's hip and pulled his close so their noses were touching, "Merry Christmas, asshole."

* * *

 **I am sorry if that sucked but please review! :)**

 **Merry Christmas!**

 **-Soreina :)**


End file.
